If I tell you this, you have to promise not to tell anyone. I do, after all, consider myself a fairly intelligent and well-educated person. My shelves are lined with literature, and I enjoy going to the theatre. Really, it’s true.

So it may come as somewhat of a shock if I tell you that I have a secret fascination with Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton. I know, the two have never been in the limelight for the good that they’ve done the world—they’re certainly not good Samaritans, and nor have they really contributed, well, much of anything to our society and culture. But there’s something so endearingly sweet about the two of them (if you ignore all the nasty tabloid stories, that is).

Though it’s shameful, I admit to watching The Simple Life. Several seasons of it in fact. The whole time, I was rooting for Nicole Richie as she dealt with her inner demons and struggled with her weight. I laughed at Paris’s sweet innocence and her ability to wear thoroughly impractical outfits at every opportunity. I loved the way that they had no idea to cash a paycheck. I even bought trashy magazines just because their names and pictures where on the front covers. Don’t ask me why, or even how, but I found something absolutely endearing about the two of them.

I still secretly wish that Nicole and Paris would patch up their friendship so that they can go gallivanting about America in a pink Winnebago, carting their huge purses and tiny dogs, and smiling sweetly at the camera. Ah, Paris and Nicole—you’re like the princesses that we never got to have in this country. Perhaps the reason I secretly love you is that you got to live the fairytale we all dream about.

I think I have a solution for what we should do for Elayne’s engagement party. Who would be up for a bombshell trip and putting up a bit of income on some of those brand new chalets that we keep talking about. Although, maybe we better save it for the hen weekend!