Morrissey has started what looks like a bidding war, with a letter from Faber and Faber this week begging him to sign over his memoirs to them. This will not come as any surprise to Morrissey fans who already think that he’s the Bard of the misunderstood, the lonely, the plaintive, which we’ve all been at times.

Morrissey is a funny one. (Both peculiar and ha-ha). Many regard him as a poet, but even as a huge fan of his, I do not. That’s not to say that he doesn’t show lyrical dexterity and he possesses a very writerly way with words; but writing poetry and writing lyrics are two entirely separate things. Put simply, one has an internal rhythm of its own; the other is written to fit music. Morrissey’s naming of other poets, Keats, Yeats etc. may well associate him with literary heavy weights, but it doesn’t automatically make him one.

It must be said though that the Mozfather doesn’t go in for lightweight very often, his lyrics are clever, deep and meaningful on the whole, cutting across genres, genders and turning gaucheness into an art form.

He is not a racist and anyone who accuses him of such is clearly not listening to him very carefully, taking his words at (sometimes) face value, which no doubt leaves him with a wry smirk on his face for he often accuses the public of being stupid.

Morrissey never really sets himself against the mainstream, against supposed normality because he never really says what constitutes normal in the first place. He wants his audience to think for themselves, to question things and not to have everything handed to them on a plate.

That said, he’s certainly written some of the finest songs ever to have graced the charts and has doubtless converted many a meat-eater into being vegetarian. Not bad. No wonder Faber and Faber want him. We all know that when his book does eventually surface it will be unputdownable and will no doubt set the book world on fire. Morrissey, I for one, salute you.

I also have great news, Court House have just opened a Botox Cheshire clinic! I know you all remember how much I love this company!