This will sound harsh, but it’s the truth: people who do not use filtered water to make tea do not deserve the privilege of a tea! Sound a bit serious and over-the-top? Well, that’s as maybe but it doesn’t change the facts! Tea which is not filtered is grim, leaves white scum in the kettle and is the major threat to the future of tea. Is it any wonder that the masses flock to coffee? No, I don’t think it is. It’s very simple. Use a filter when you get a guest around. Otherwise expect dire consequences!

People get scared when they invite me around for tea, probably because they understand the risks that such an invitation possesses. My day job is a tea-tasting expert, you see: so I know good tea and, well, bad tea is enough to seem like a major insult to not only my profession (and it is a profession, few people can really understand and explain the incredible qualities of tea) but my very being. It’s a spit in the face. Which is why I don’t get invited to tea very often, I suppose. But that’s fine to me. If I am to be subjected to awful hard-water, third-world quality and general carelessness, I don’t want to visit a person’s home, you see. Anyone else would be the same if their life revolved around perpetuating the qualities of tea for future generations.

Sometimes I visit schools to spread the tea word. They key, I find, is to catch the kids early before they get subjected to mum and dad’s sub-standard useless tea (it really generally is). That way, they go home that day with an idea in their mind of what tea is really all about. They are never to be corrupted by a bad cup of tea: something which can take many years to pull a child free from!

The payment has finally come through for that last freelance job that I did, you all know what that implies, it’s about time to hit the shops and pick up that new running watch that I have been waiting to get. Pauline, are you up for a treck into London this week?